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An exercise in keeping positive when everything feels rubbish and a whole heap of thank yous!

So I figured I probably needed a therapy post to try and keep positive from the rubbish that’s been going on recently. I’ve been banging on about year end here and here. Of course most people know that year end woes don’t actually finish on 31st so this week has been just as hectic. In reality, there have been worse years. Much much worse. But we’re all still working with a higher stress level than normal.

What I didn’t mention last week was the demise of my washing routine. My. Shower. Is. Broken. Just take that in for a second..

I know of course there are many things that are worse in the world, but for me, this is major. But I’m a resourceful person, everyone tells me so. I could just get in the bath. But no. That’s broken too. My bath plug hole is now portable and not fixed to the bath as it should be. This means that I could have a bath, but everything in the kitchen would get a wash too. Not ideal.

The shower was having trouble on Monday morning, but with quick thinking, I managed to fix it. Wednesday was disaster day no 1, but by no means the worst day. I’d managed to wash my hair, and reach for the shower gel when there was a click and the water fizzled out. Panic! I hastily ventured downstairs, while trying to keep my towel in place and not drip everywhere. I located the stepladder to take a look at the fuse box. This of course is located next to the front door, so I hope I didn’t give the passing school children an eyeful! I’m up the ladder flicking away at the switch but nothing is happening. Crushed, and very late I ran back upstairs to make the best of it and scarpered out the door. Luckily I live with an engineer, so all would be fixable. Or so I thought. Himself did manage to get it fixed for Thursday morning. I tentatively and very hurriedly started to do my thing when it happened again. But this time I was all soapy, with no way of rinsing. Oh so many tears. I’m so grateful to Himself (who very kindly brought me a bowl – after he’d brought a jug still with custard on it – so I could rinse off – Thank you!) for staying with me. It must be one of the lowest points that he’s seen me. If he sticks around after that then I’m doing all right!

Of course this wasn’t the end. More DIY related rows ensued at the end of the day. I’d learned from previous mistakes and went by myself and tried not to cry the whole way around. Did I get what I needed? Of course not. I left empty handed and full of sorrow. At the time of publishing it’s still not fixed.

So with the combined factors of higher work stress, a hideous monthly occurrence and no way to wash, I was at a pretty low point last week. I could have handled two or three of the above, but not all of them.

I need to say a huge thank you to The Parents at this point. They’ve been letting me use their facilities, I’m not sure where I’d be without it. It’s like being at home again. Wherever I lay my toiletries, that’s my home. It can’t be easy being invaded by someone they thought they’d gotten rid of! So thank you again!

So what did this week bring? My biggest worry was Monday morning where I had a hospital appointment that I had to be clean for. Undoubtedly I’ll update you on that further down the line. Once this was over, I started to relax a bit more. I’m not sure I realised how worked up I’d been about it.

Himself has been away for this week, and while I’ve missed him (stupid things like not seeing 2 sets of keys on the hook) the noticeable difference of mess levels has been insane. Working late and then having to drive to shower means there has been little time this week for anything more than eating something quickly and sleeping, but the tidying I managed to do has stayed tidy, and this is the key factor! Mrs ATR very kindly gave me a hand too as I think her nesting instincts are going wild? Anyway, having it clean is one less worry!

It all sounds quite bleak doesn’t it, but I promise I’m getting to the positives. Just one more half woe!

MOT day.

The dreaded MOT day.

This was actually at the bottom of my list to worry about. I’m blessed with an remarkable little car called Maggie. We’ve been together for 5 years now and she’s only ever failed once in that time. Combine that with the fact that I barely drive these days means that I had zero – little concern. Driving for showers has actually been the most she’s been driven in ages. I often forget where I park her and have to hunt for her and apologies for leaving her for weeks at a time. But she always starts for me. I’ve got a good ‘un there. I drove her to the garage, waved goodbye and set off on my walk to the nearest train station. There’s a lovely new station by our garage which makes things so much easier. Well, most of the time. While it’s on the main line, it doesn’t stop every train there. Or even every other train. It seems to be a completely random pattern. Anyway, I’m strolling along the long street to get to the platform, and it whizzes past. Typical. It says a lot about how much things had improved as I didn’t fall apart! A week ago, it would have been the final straw.

So what would I do? Wait 40 mins for the next one? Maybe. I’ve done it before, and of course I had more than enough craft with me. But today I decided that no, I would walk to my regular station. In my head it always seemed like a huge way to go, but door to door only took 30 mins. And what a lovely walk it was. Here’s where I get to the good stuff!

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It would have been a different story if the weather hadn’t been so beautiful. I’m so glad it was. I could have walked along roads, but I decided to mosey through the green areas and see what I could see. I’m not sure I’ve ever walked through our local park at so early, but I want to as much as I can now.

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Everything was dewy and the flowers were all awake. The sun was so warm I had to take my jacket off. We’re in that strange season where some of the trees have leaves, but some are still bare. The ones that do are sooo green. I made sure to take it as slow as I and time would manage to take everything in. I had to wander through the flocks of geese that live in the moat of our castle.

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They were making noises like they were hungry, but they look so plump.

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There were a few ducks milling about.

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And I even saw a not quite swan, who seemed very interested in me taking photos.

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These were also the lazy ones that hadn’t quite woken up yet. Come on guys! You’re missing out on a beautiful morning!

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I’m not sure if it was the sun, the endorphins from the exercise or just the change of morning scenery, but I felt so well afterwards. Yes I was a bit sweaty, and yes I probably should have planned and brought better shoes, but I would happily do it all over again. I’m not generally a morning person, but I was very seriously considering getting up early every morning and walking 2 miles. I know logistically this can’t happen every day, but it’s gone wonders to kick start fitness goals and my mood. It reminded me to search out and keep hold of all the positive things that are around me. It’s far too easy to get caught up in worries and let them drown you. While I can’t say that I’ll never feel like I’m drowning again, I’ll have this post to look back on and remind myself to take a look around me.

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Ps. Maggie passed! She’s so good. Thank you Maggie!

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Much love from me and Maggie xx

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One thought on “An exercise in keeping positive when everything feels rubbish and a whole heap of thank yous!

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